Sitting in the sun with a fag and a cup of tea is my favourite past time.Today I feel swell.Noticed my hair is growing and decided to wear my favourite shirt,even though nobody can admire it as I am alone today,still makes me happy I guess.
Fancy a wee drink In the sun or some form of interesting plans would not go a miss.

That I will never be happy with any flat/house I move into and It does not matter who It is with either.

I long for my old bedroom,I was torn away from that house when My dad passed ( as we had to sell it).

My room was my little den,my space,the only place I have felt comfortable.It was exactly how I liked it.It had “me” all over it.

I had a MASSIVE angel (Rinasphere) painted on my back wall,she was sitting on a giant glowing ball and she was beautiful beyond words.She was me In a way.I had made her up In a story I had written when I was about 14 years old,something I did to keep my mind off of shit was to Indulge In my own little world where angels and fairys and things like that could exist.It gave me peace within myself.

My whole room was dark purple,the carpet the walls,I had blackout curtains.The walls were covered with all of my drawings of various different things,marking periods In my life,Usually ones I struggled with.I also had poems I had written In frames.I had fairy lights and I had a large black metal crib style bed with my angel covers and lots of fluffy pillows.I had shelves with all my angels and fairys and music boxes and dolls and crazy shit all over them.My mirror was huge,covered In pictures and tickets from gigs.

I has a proper dresser with a wee drawer for jewellery and makeup.It was perfect.

I could light my candles and sit on my windowsill and just chill out and at night I could shut my curtains and be In complete darkness (the way I love it).

I cannot explain it,I loved that room and I do not think I could cope sharing my own personal space with another.I like to write In my diary,be alone sometimes and just let the silence and sarroundings make me happy.If that makes ANY sense.I am very paticular about my room and the things I like In it.It is hard to share that with someone else who does not understand that really.

I need time alone so I can gather my thoughts and deal with the day.If I do not get that I become a person I do not like.so heres hoping -_-

This was pointless..

I talk to much.

I have decided to sit and watch the same old mundane television shows and shovel food Into my mouth,Yes…Decided :/

So Alone :( x

Filling In yet ANOTHER mental health form.
I have filled In about 30 of these things and It is getting depressing now (Irony not Intended).

I Hope the next “pal” I get does not suggest yoga and yogurt,he was probably more mental than I am to be honest.Maybe a girl?,would be a nice change I think ha.

So I am off work,got alot of shit on my mind.Thinking about all the shit I could have saved myself and ofcourse other people. ..If I had just been less stubborn and went back to my councillor. BUT I am an idiot,I have fucked up alot and I have hurt alot of people In my own strange ways.

I NEVER MEANT TO THOUGH!
I love everyone,even you!.

However these new prozac tablets and sleeping tablets should calm my paranoia and ease my episodes I have.Hopefully get some kip In aswell hah!

I am out of it,need to sleep and to not be emotional and crazy.
Gahhh!
Someone gimme chat.
Please?!^_^

“The summer sun is fading as the year grows old,
And darker days are drawing near,
The winter winds will be much colder,
Now you’re not here”

ended bad and had to walk home from belsmyre.I am about 99% done with everyone and everything.people..ALOT of fucking people treat me like an idiot.
I AM a nice person
that is all.

sodamnrelatable:



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